Tag: How to put baby for adoption

Birthmother

I AM THINKING ABOUT PUTTING MY BABY UP FOR ADOPTION, USING ADOPTION ATTORNEYS KIRSH & KIRSH, P.C. (“KIRSH & KIRSH”), BUT CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY ATTORNEY FEES

Birth parents do not pay for the services of Kirsh & Kirsh. The adoptive parents – rather than birth mothers — pay the fees of Kirsh & Kirsh. In addition to providing our services free of charge to expectant mothers, we will arrange for expectant and birth mothers to consult with their own attorney and speak with a counselor, if they wish, AT NO COST. Also, the adoptive parent clients of Kirsh & Kirsh will assist birth mothers with living expenses, as allowed by Indiana law.

Our attorneys have 90 years of combined experience arranging adoptions in Indiana. We help birth mothers and expectant mothers find secure, loving, and happy homes for their precious soon-to-be-born and newborn babies. We have lots of thoroughly investigated, carefully screened families, who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their homes and hearts. Like local adoption agencies and national adoption agencies, Indiana Law allows adoption attorneys to provide adoption services to birth parents, which includes matching birthmothers with adoptive parents of the birthmother’s choosing. We, at Kirsh & Kirsh, give birth mothers and expectant mothers the option of deciding how much involvement they want to have in choosing adoptive parents. Some women want to read about, talk to, and meet prospective adoptive parents. Others want us, at Kirsh & Kirsh, to pick the family.

Our contact information is below.  We will answer your questions and provide you the information you seek, without cost or obligation on your part. In other words, talking to us is FREE and does NOT mean you ever have to talk or text with us, again. We can help you find an AMAZING, WONDERFUL, adoptive home for your precious baby, whether you live in Carmel or Indianapolis, Elkhart or South Bend, Madison or New Albany, or Huntington or Ft. Wayne, or any Indiana county or city in between, or ANYWHERE in Tennessee, Mississippi, or Kentucky.

We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families, FROM INDIANA AND ALL OVER THE COUNTRY(married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and are happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.

You can call, text, and or email us anytime —call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: AdoptionSupport@kirsh.com, or Facebook message:  https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.

POSITIVE ADOPTION LANGUAGE DISCLAIMER:  Please understand that these blog posts are written in a way to use language that people use when searching for help with their adoption plans.  Unfortunately, while all of us understand what positive adoption language means, most expectant moms that come to us at first do not understand what that means. The most common search term on the Internet for expectant moms is “how do I give up my baby for adoption”.  If we do not include those words in our blog posts, and instead put “how do I create an adoption plan for my baby” then our website will not show up in most expectant mom’s search results in Google.

Birthmother

I Am Pregnant And Not Ready For A Baby But Don’t Know If I Can Place The Baby For Adoption

At the Adoption Law Firm of Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. (“Kirsh & Kirsh”) we have met literally numerous  of women over the last 35+ years who wanted information about giving up a baby for adoption, or more correctly, making an adoption plan for their soon-to-be-born, newborn babies, and young toddlers. Most, and probably all, of those women have had exactly the concern of whether they would actually be able to follow through with an adoption. To be clear, we are not psychologists, social workers, or counselors. What follows is a short summary of what those professionals have told us over the last 3 ½ decades that we have assisted adoptive parents and birth parents with arrangements for adoptions.

No two ways about it: if you place your baby for adoption, you will grieve the loss of your child much as you would grieve, or have grieved, the loss of a person close to you who passes away. Usually, grief does not last forever and lessens over time, but grief is real, and it is painful. We all grieve the deaths of people close to us. Usually, our degree of grief directly relates to our relationship with the deceased person. The closer the relationship – the more intense the grief. It is hard to imagine a relationship closer than between a mother and her child. Everyone handles grief differently, but you should assume your grief will be intense. However, because a decision is difficult or accompanied by grief, does not mean that decision is a bad one. Not all decisions are easy.

Unlike the example of a dying friend or relative, whether you decide to proceed with an adoption, parent the child, or make another choice, you have control over the decision, which means there will be consequences, which your choice has created, some of which will be SIGNIFICANT. If you decide to parent the child and find that you are not providing your child the life you believe your child deserves, how will you feel? How long will those feelings last? Will they lessen or intensify over time? Will you resent your child because the child prevented you from fulfilling your own dreams? If you have another child or children, what will adding a child to your home do to your ability to take care of that child or children? Of course, there are other options and feelings that will come into play. In other words, avoiding having to come to terms with the grief associated with adoption, does not necessarily mean the road is easy or stress-free, or even best for you. Only you can make that determination.

We encourage the expectant mothers who come to us to find homes for their newborns and young toddlers to speak with counselors to help them understand and deal with their feelings and emotions. Social workers often refer to the adoption decision as a struggle between one’s heart and head. The heart pulling in one direction and the head in another. We believe that counseling helps birth mothers make decisions that they can live with.

If you would like to explore adoption, in Indiana, Tennessee, Mississippi, Kentucky, or anywhere else in the country, without cost or obligation on your part, do not hesitate to contact us. We have helped numerous birth parents find wonderful, loving homes for their babies. We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families (married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.

You can call, text, and or email us anytime —call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: AdoptionSupport@kirsh.com, or a Facebook message:  https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.

Birthmother

What Options Do I Have? I Did Not Plan To Get Pregnant

Most people will tell you that you have 2 options – parent or abort the baby. They neglect to mention at third alternative – give the baby up for adoption or more correctly “make an adoption plan for the baby.” Unless you have already given birth, you don’t have to make a final decision now. Whatever you decide will have lasting consequences for you and the baby.  Take a deep breath and consider your options.

Everyone knows the option of parenting and that is the one most women choose. In fact, not making a decision leaves you with that outcome. But, ask yourself the fundamental question which guides all good parenting choices: “What is in my child’s best interests”? If you believe you have the resources and desire to devote the rest of your life parenting your child, you should choose this option. “The rest of my life”? No, wait – I thought I would finish raising my child when he or she turned 18 years. Wrong – parenting is a lifetime commitment, which gets harder as children get older, because a parent’s ability to influence their decisions diminishes. As a parent you will always have the desire to give your children the benefit of your knowledge and experience. Of course, you need to provide the necessities – food, shelter, care, education, and, of course, LOVE. However, Love alone is not sufficient.

When you honestly consider your current situation, you may conclude you cannot provide your child the life, future, and opportunities you want for your child. That leaves you with two options – abortion or adoption. Some women will not consider abortion as an option and move directly to adoption, but let’s assume for the sake of discussion you would consider aborting the child or, as some would say “fetus” to make it feel less like taking a life, particularly the life of a child. But, you must understand that while abortion ends the pregnancy, it does not change the fact that you were pregnant. Presumably, some women will be able to put the abortion out of their minds and will not associate the abortion with ending an innocent child’s life. A woman who has had an abortion will likely tell you that some degree of guilt will follow you through life.

Another alternative – provide for your child by means of an adoptive placement. The downside includes being pregnant until you give birth, which may last weeks or months more, depending on your due date. Feeling a baby kick from the inside, giving birth, and then leaving the hospital without your baby will likely be the hardest thing you do in your life. It takes a firm belief and faith that adoption gives your child the best opportunity to realize their full potential and the courage to make a decision that most of society, including your some of your closest friends, will never understand. However, a hard decision does not make it a bad decision. If you want your child to have a loving, secure, happy home, and a world of opportunities, making an adoption plan may be your best parenting decision.  While you will grieve, you will also know that you put your child’s needs ahead of your own, have given you child the gift of life and a good home, and have fulfilled the dream of parenthood for someone who probably would never have a child or another child without you or someone like you.

By the way, another alternative that some women choose includes asking family and friends to assume formal or informal foster care/guardianship of the child. If whatever causes you to question your ability to parent is a short term condition and you are not concerned that it will reoccur, foster care would allow you to get from “Point A” to “Point B” in your life.

If you would like to explore adoption and live in Indiana, Tennessee, Mississippi, Kentucky or any other state, contact us at Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. We have helped numerous women with adoption plans over the last 35+ years. We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes.

We will always treat you will kindness and respect. Of the many expectant mothers with whom we have worked over years, many, if not most, have needed help paying their living expenses while they were pregnant and during their postpartum recovery.

You can call, text and or email us anytime. To contact us—call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: AdoptionSupport@kirsh.com, or Facebook message:  https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.