Most importantly, remember that she is the mother of the child and has the right to make parenting decisions. It is okay to offer guidance and advice, but you should not impose your judgment on her.
A good, non-judgmental way to begin a conversation about adoption with a pregnant friend is to ask her: “How do you feel about being pregnant?” If she expresses anything but excitement, she has then opened the door for you to suggest other options such as putting the child up for adoption or, more correctly, making an adoption plan for the child.
If she is excited about welcoming a child or another child, you might ask questions that cause her to judge for herself her readiness for a newborn. Ultimately, she will need to decide for herself that parenting the child may not serve the child’s best interests. Most people more willingly accept decisions they make on their own as opposed to those forced upon them by others. You could ask, questions like:
- At the end of the day, how much energy does she have now without the responsibility of a newborn?
- Does she feel that she spends enough one-on-one time with her child or children if she has another child or children?
- Who babysits her child or children and will look after the new baby when she goes out or to work and is that person willing to take responsibility for another child, particularly, a newborn?
- How likely is it that the father of the baby will help her raise the child?
- How much money does she have at the end of the month that she could use to provide for the new baby?
- What part of the cost of raising the child does she expect to receive from others and how certain is she of their continued and ongoing commitment?
If your friend would like to explore adoption, we, at Adoption Attorneys Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., the “Kirsh Boys,” as the adoption attorneys at Kirsh & Kirsh, are sometimes called – Steve, and his brothers, Joel and Rob, and his son, Grant – pride themselves on answering questions about adoption and explaining the process without pressure or judgment. They cannot make adoption an easy choice, but they can make it less scary by removing some of the unknowns. Ultimately, a birth parent will have to decide if adoption is in their own best interests and the best interests of their child. We, at Kirsh & Kirsh, will not and cannot make that decision for anyone, but we can provide information and answers to questions.
Our contact information is below. We will answer your questions and provide you the information you seek, without cost or obligation on your part. In other words, talking to us is FREE and does NOT mean you ever have to talk or text with us, again. The Kirsh Boys have 90 YEARS OF COMBINED EXPERIENCE practicing adoption law. We can help you find an AMAZING, WONDERFUL, adoptive home for your precious baby, whether you live in Greencastle or Indianapolis, Columbus or Shelbyville, Evansville or Vincennes, or West Lafayette or Ft. Wayne, Richmond or Connorsville, or any Indiana county or city in between, or ANYWHERE in Tennessee, Mississippi, or Kentucky.
We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families, FROM INDIANA AND ALL OVER THE COUNTRY (married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and are happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.
You can call, text, and or email us anytime –call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: AdoptionSupport@kirsh.com, or Facebook message: https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.
POSITIVE ADOPTION LANGUAGE DISCLAIMER: Please understand that these blog posts are written in a way to use language that people use when searching for help with their adoption plans. Unfortunately, while all of us understand what positive adoption language means, most expectant moms that come to us at first do not understand what that means. The most common search term on the Internet for expectant moms is “how do I give up my baby for adoption”. If we do not include those words in our blog posts, and instead put “how do I create an adoption plan for my baby” then our website will not show up in most expectant mom’s search results in Google.