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Tag: pregnant mom’s adoption option

Birthmother

WHEN I TOLD THE FATHER OF THE BABY I WAS PREGNANT, HE THOUGHT I WAS LYING. CAN I STILL GIVE UP THE BABY FOR ADOPTION?

Yes. If you live in Indiana or place your baby up for adoption with an Indiana family and assuming the father of the baby has not legally established paternity of the child, meaning through a court proceeding or paternity affidavit, and assuming that you are not married to him, what the father of the baby believes does not matter. Of course, his accusing you of lying probably hurts your feelings, but under Indiana Law, an expectant mother or birth mother does not have to prove paternity of the child to proceed with an adoption. Furthermore, under Indiana Adoption Law, a birth mother does not need the consent to the adoption of a man who is not married to her or who has not established the paternity of the child, as explained above. In fact, he may not even be entitled to notice of the adoption.

Our contact information is below.  We will answer your questions and provide you the information you seek, without cost or obligation on your part. In other words, talking to us is FREE and does NOT mean you ever have to talk or text with us, again. Our adoption attorneys have 90 YEARS OF COMBINED EXPERIENCE practicing adoption law. We can help you find an AMAZING, WONDERFUL, adoptive home for your precious baby, whether you live in Kokomo or Indianapolis, Columbus or New Castle, Evansville or Scottsburg, or South Bend or Ft. Wayne, or any Indiana county or city in between, or ANYWHERE in Tennessee, Mississippi, or Kentucky.

We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families, FROM INDIANA AND ALL OVER THE COUNTRY(married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and are happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.

You can call, text, and or email us anytime —call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: AdoptionSupport@kirsh.com, or a Facebook message:  https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.

POSITIVE ADOPTION LANGUAGE DISCLAIMER:  Please understand that these blog posts are written in a way to use language that people use when searching for help with their adoption plans.  Unfortunately, while all of us understand what positive adoption language means, most expectant moms that come to us at first do not understand what that means. The most common search term on the Internet for expectant moms is “how do I give up my baby for adoption”.  If we do not include those words in our blog posts, and instead put “how do I create an adoption plan for my baby” then our website will not show up in most expectant mom’s search results in Google.

Birthmother

I PUT UP MY BABY FOR ADOPTION AND WANT THE BABY BACK. HOW DO I DO THAT?

In many states, it is not possible, but it depends on the state in which the adoption attorney or adoption agency files the adoption and what the birth mother signed allowing the child to be placed for adoption. If the birth mother signed a consent to adoption in Indiana, Indiana law does not give a birth parent the right to change the right to change their mind and get the child back. Most Indiana adoption agencies, national adoption agencies, and Indiana adoption attorneys, Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. (“Kirsh & Kirsh”), included, will have the birth mother confirm her consent to adoption for the court in Indiana adoptions. If a birth mother confirms her consent to adoption for the judge in Indiana by telephone, Zoom, or in person, Indiana Adoption statutes do not provide a way to withdraw her consent to adoption and get the baby back. If the birth mother has not confirmed her consent to adoption for the court, the birth mother could, within 30 days of signing the consent, file a motion with the court, ask the court for a hearing, and, at that hearing attempt to prove the child’s best interests dictate that the court allow her to withdraw her consent. In the many newborn adoptions Kirsh & Kirsh has facilitated, rarely, has a birth mother tried to withdraw her consent, largely because Kirsh & Kirsh does not pressure women to sign consents to adoption and gives them plenty of opportunity not to sign the consent to adoption, up to and including during the consent to adoption signing.

We have over the 35+ years of experience arranging adoptions in Indiana and have assisted numerous birth mothers with their adoption plans. Below will be information about how to contact us. We will answer your questions and provide you the information you seek, without cost or obligation on your part. In other words, talking to us costs you nothing nor does it mean you ever have to talk or text with us, again. We can assist you with an Indiana adoption no matter whether you live in Ft. Wayne or Evansville, Clarksville or Gary, South Bend or Jasper, or any Indiana county or city in between.

We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families (married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and are happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.

You can call, text and or email us anytime —call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: AdoptionSupport@kirsh.com, or Facebook message:  https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.

POSITIVE ADOPTION LANGUAGE DISCLAIMER:  Please understand that these blog posts are written in a way to use language that people use when searching for help with their adoption plans.  Unfortunately, while all of us understand what positive adoption language means, most expectant moms that come to us at first do not understand what that means. The most common search term on the Internet for expectant moms is “how do I give up my baby for adoption”.  If we do not include those words in our blog posts, and instead put “how do I create an adoption plan for my baby” then our website will not show up in most expectant mom’s search results in Google.

Birthmother

Who Will Care For My Baby In The Hospital, If I Place My Baby For Adoption? I Think It Would Be Too Hard To Care For The Baby In The Hospital, But I Do Not Want My Baby To Be Alone In The Hospital

Many expectant mothers, thinking about giving up their babies for adoption, or more correctly, making an adoption plan for their newborns, have said this to us at Adoption Attorneys Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. (“Kirsh & Kirsh”).  Before directly responding, this concern proves what we, at Kirsh & Kirsh, have said for the 35+ years we have arranged adoptions and know to be true: birth mothers place their babies for adoption because they LOVE their babies. They want their children to have better lives than they, the birth mothers, can provide at that time in their lives. If a birth mother did not love her baby, why would she be concerned about the baby being alone in the hospital?!?

Firstly, hospitals NEVER leave babies alone. Babies are ALWAYS under the watchful eye of the nurses. If a birth parent does not feed, change, and hold the baby, the nursery nurses are more than happy to love, nurture, and care for the baby. Hospital nursery nurses work in nurseries because they love taking care of babies. 

Secondly, there is another, perhaps, better solution – at the birth mother’s request, the hospital will allow the adoptive parents into the hospital to personally care for the baby in the hospital until the baby is ready for discharge. In fact, most hospitals will give the prospective adoptive parents their own room on the mother-baby, post-partum unit until the baby is ready for discharge. A birth mother can have as much or as little contact with that baby as she feels comfortable. In our considerable experience, we know that each birth parent handles adoption on their own terms and in their own way. For some, that means not spending time with their babies in the hospital. For those mothers, they can rest assured that their babies will NOT be alone in the hospital. 

We, at Kirsh & Kirsh, have assisted numerous pregnant women, in Indiana, Tennessee, Mississippi, and Kentucky to find loving, happy, wonderful homes for their babies. We give expectant mothers and birth mothers as much or as little involvement in the family selection process as they would like. 

We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families (married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.

You can call, text, and or email us anytime —call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: AdoptionSupport@kirsh.com, or a Facebook message:  https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.

Birthmother

What Options Do I Have? I Did Not Plan To Get Pregnant

Most people will tell you that you have 2 options – parent or abort the baby. They neglect to mention at third alternative – give the baby up for adoption or more correctly “make an adoption plan for the baby.” Unless you have already given birth, you don’t have to make a final decision now. Whatever you decide will have lasting consequences for you and the baby.  Take a deep breath and consider your options.

Everyone knows the option of parenting and that is the one most women choose. In fact, not making a decision leaves you with that outcome. But, ask yourself the fundamental question which guides all good parenting choices: “What is in my child’s best interests”? If you believe you have the resources and desire to devote the rest of your life parenting your child, you should choose this option. “The rest of my life”? No, wait – I thought I would finish raising my child when he or she turned 18 years. Wrong – parenting is a lifetime commitment, which gets harder as children get older, because a parent’s ability to influence their decisions diminishes. As a parent you will always have the desire to give your children the benefit of your knowledge and experience. Of course, you need to provide the necessities – food, shelter, care, education, and, of course, LOVE. However, Love alone is not sufficient.

When you honestly consider your current situation, you may conclude you cannot provide your child the life, future, and opportunities you want for your child. That leaves you with two options – abortion or adoption. Some women will not consider abortion as an option and move directly to adoption, but let’s assume for the sake of discussion you would consider aborting the child or, as some would say “fetus” to make it feel less like taking a life, particularly the life of a child. But, you must understand that while abortion ends the pregnancy, it does not change the fact that you were pregnant. Presumably, some women will be able to put the abortion out of their minds and will not associate the abortion with ending an innocent child’s life. A woman who has had an abortion will likely tell you that some degree of guilt will follow you through life.

Another alternative – provide for your child by means of an adoptive placement. The downside includes being pregnant until you give birth, which may last weeks or months more, depending on your due date. Feeling a baby kick from the inside, giving birth, and then leaving the hospital without your baby will likely be the hardest thing you do in your life. It takes a firm belief and faith that adoption gives your child the best opportunity to realize their full potential and the courage to make a decision that most of society, including your some of your closest friends, will never understand. However, a hard decision does not make it a bad decision. If you want your child to have a loving, secure, happy home, and a world of opportunities, making an adoption plan may be your best parenting decision.  While you will grieve, you will also know that you put your child’s needs ahead of your own, have given you child the gift of life and a good home, and have fulfilled the dream of parenthood for someone who probably would never have a child or another child without you or someone like you.

By the way, another alternative that some women choose includes asking family and friends to assume formal or informal foster care/guardianship of the child. If whatever causes you to question your ability to parent is a short term condition and you are not concerned that it will reoccur, foster care would allow you to get from “Point A” to “Point B” in your life.

If you would like to explore adoption and live in Indiana, Tennessee, Mississippi, Kentucky or any other state, contact us at Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. We have helped numerous women with adoption plans over the last 35+ years. We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes.

We will always treat you will kindness and respect. Of the many expectant mothers with whom we have worked over years, many, if not most, have needed help paying their living expenses while they were pregnant and during their postpartum recovery.

You can call, text and or email us anytime. To contact us—call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: AdoptionSupport@kirsh.com, or Facebook message:  https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.