Cairs Admin, Author at Loving Adoptions

MY FRIEND IS PREGNANT. HOW DO I GET HER TO THINK ABOUT GIVING THE BABY UP FOR ADOPTION?

Most importantly, remember that she is the mother of the child and has the right to make parenting decisions. It is okay to offer guidance and advice, but you should not impose your judgment on her.

A good, non-judgmental way to begin a conversation about adoption with a pregnant friend is to ask her: “How do you feel about being pregnant?” If she expresses anything but excitement, she has then opened the door for you to suggest other options such as putting the child up for adoption or, more correctly, making an adoption plan for the child.

If she is excited about welcoming a child or another child, you might ask questions that cause her to judge for herself her readiness for a newborn. Ultimately, she will need to decide for herself that parenting the child may not serve the child’s best interests. Most people more willingly accept decisions they make on their own as opposed to those forced upon them by others. You could ask, questions like:

At the end of the day, how much energy does she have now without the responsibility of a newborn?
Does she feel that she spends enough one-on-one time with her child or children if she has another child or children?
Who babysits her child or children and will look after the new baby when she goes out or to work and is that person willing to take responsibility for another child, particularly, a newborn?
How likely is it that the father of the baby will help her raise the child?
How much money does she have at the end of the month that she could use to provide for the new baby?
What part of the cost of raising the child does she expect to receive from others and how certain is she of their continued and ongoing commitment?

If your friend would like to explore adoption, we, at Adoption Attorneys Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., the “Kirsh Boys,” as the adoption attorneys at Kirsh & Kirsh, are sometimes called – Steve, and his brothers, Joel and Rob, and his son, Grant – pride themselves on answering questions about adoption and explaining the process without pressure or judgment. They cannot make adoption an easy choice, but they can make it less scary by removing some of the unknowns. Ultimately, a birth parent will have to decide if adoption is in their own best interests and the best interests of their child. We, at Kirsh & Kirsh, will not and cannot make that decision for anyone, but we can provide information and answers to questions.

Our contact information is below. We will answer your questions and provide you the information you seek, without cost or obligation on your part. In other words, talking to us is FREE and does NOT mean you ever have to talk or text with us, again. The Kirsh Boys have 90 YEARS OF COMBINED EXPERIENCE practicing adoption law. We can help you find an AMAZING, WONDERFUL, adoptive home for your precious baby, whether you live in Greencastle or Indianapolis, Columbus or Shelbyville, Evansville or Vincennes, or West Lafayette or Ft. Wayne, Richmond or Connorsville, or any Indiana county or city in between, or ANYWHERE in Tennessee, Mississippi, or Kentucky.

We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families, FROM INDIANA AND ALL OVER THE COUNTRY (married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and are happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.

You can call, text, and or email us anytime –call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: [email protected], or Facebook message: https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.

POSITIVE ADOPTION LANGUAGE DISCLAIMER: Please understand that these blog posts are written in a way to use language that people use when searching for help with their adoption plans. Unfortunately, while all of us understand what positive adoption language means, most expectant moms that come to us at first do not understand what that means. The most common search term on the Internet for expectant moms is “how do I give up my baby for adoption”. If we do not include those words in our blog posts, and instead put “how do I create an adoption plan for my baby” then our website will not show up in most expectant mom’s search results in Google.

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT MY TEENAGED DAUGHTER IS PREGNANT. SHE IS NOT READY TO BE A MOTHER. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

As the father of 3 boys and having been married for more than 45 years, I often recall what my father’s words: “Steve, don’t worry; it is just the first 20 years that are the hardest.” I remember him telling me that when my boys were toddlers and going through the terrible twos. As a parent of children who are now between the ages of 38 and 43, I realized that although my dad was trying to be funny, the first twenty years are really not the hardest. As children get older, they face bigger problems. As newborns, our biggest challenge was getting up in the middle of the night to change a dirty diaper, feed a hungry baby, or comfort a crying child. “Monster Repellant Spray” (a.k.a. Lysol) worked wonders keeping the night monsters at bay when the boys were little, and it was bedtime. As they got older, their problems grew in complexity. Even as a father of a forty-three old son, I still find myself giving lots of (often unsolicited) advice.

So what does this have to do with parenting a pregnant, teenage daughter? The point is that parenting does not mean that you have to submit to your child’s wishes. Parenting means that you assume responsibility and guide your children to the decision that is best for them.

Therefore, my advice to a parent of a teenage daughter, who is pregnant, is don’t stop being a parent because they happen to be pregnant. With teenagers, you often have to convince them that it was their idea to take action, and, sometimes, a subtle approach is better than a more direct one. But if your first attempt at convincing them does not work, you must continue to try.

A pregnant teen faces the most difficult decision of her life and cannot possibly comprehend the commitment it takes to parent a child. And even though they may think they know everything as a teenager, they don’t. That is where parenting comes in.

There is a balance because Indiana law does not allow a person to give a coerced consent to adoption. And, in fact, a consent to adoption that is coerced would not be valid. However, as a parent, you have the responsibility to guide and protect your child even if your child does not agree. Parenting is not about consensus building or winning popularity contests. Parenting is about raising your child to help them achieve their full potential.

The “Kirsh Boys,” as the adoption attorneys at Kirsh & Kirsh, are sometimes called – Steve, and his brothers, Joel and Rob, and his son, Grant – pride themselves on answering questions about adoption and explaining the process without pressure or judgment. They cannot make adoption an easy choice, but they can make it less scary by removing some of the unknowns. Ultimately, a birth parent will have to decide if adoption is in their own best interests and the best interests of their child. We, at Kirsh & Kirsh, will not and cannot make that decision for anyone, but we can provide information and answers to questions.

Our contact information is below. We will answer your questions and provide you the information you seek, without cost or obligation on your part. In other words, talking to us is FREE and does NOT mean you ever have to talk or text with us, again. The Kirsh Boys have 90 YEARS OF COMBINED EXPERIENCE practicing adoption law. We can help you find an AMAZING, WONDERFUL, adoptive home for your precious baby, whether you live in Noblesville or Indianapolis, Columbus or Bloomington, Evansville or Vincennes, or Winamac or Ft. Wayne, Richmond or West Lafayette, or any Indiana county or city in between, or ANYWHERE in Tennessee, Mississippi, or Kentucky.

We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families, FROM INDIANA AND ALL OVER THE COUNTRY (married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and are happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.

You can call, text, and or email us anytime -call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: [email protected], or Facebook message: https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.

DOES KIRSH & KIRSH, P.C. (“Kirsh & Kirsh”) HANDLE OPEN ADOPTIONS?

YES! We, at Adoption Attorneys Kirsh & Kirsh, help create adoption plans which accommodate the wishes of both the birth parents and prospective adoptive parents. We find that many birth mothers would like to receive written and photographic updates from the adoptive parents letting them know how their children are getting along and simply to satisfy their curiosity about what the children look like In fact, even for those birth parents who do not request updates, Kirsh & Kirsh encourages the adoptive parent to create the updates and put them in safe-keeping in case the birth mother or father later change their minds about receiving the updates. Every birth parent finds peace in their own way. In our experience, seeing photos and receiving written updates about their children reaffirms for the birth parent that they made the right decision in placing the baby up for adoption, or more correctly, making an adoption plan for the baby. Of course, some birth mothers struggle more than others with their decision. Therefore, we, at Kirsh & Kirsh, encourage all expectant mothers and birth mothers to speak with a counselor to help them focus on their reasons and have the tools to deal with their emotions. We will arrange and pay for counseling both before and after the baby is born.

The “Kirsh Boys,” as the adoption attorneys at Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., are sometimes called – Steve, and his brothers, Joel and Rob, and his son, Grant – pride themselves on answering questions about adoption and explaining the process without pressure or judgment. They cannot make adoption an easy choice, but they can make it less scary by removing some of the unknowns. Ultimately, a birth parent will have to decide if adoption is in their own best interests and the best interests of their child. We, at Kirsh & Kirsh, will not and cannot make that decision for anyone, but we can provide information and answers to questions.

Our contact information is below. We will answer your questions and provide you the information you seek, without cost or obligation on your part. In other words, talking to us is FREE and does NOT mean you ever have to talk or text with us, again. The Kirsh Boys have 90 YEARS OF COMBINED EXPERIENCE practicing adoption law. We can help you find an AMAZING, WONDERFUL, adoptive home for your precious baby, whether you live in Carmel or Indianapolis, Madison or Bloomington, Evansville or Jasper, or Decatur or Ft. Wayne, New Castle or Richmond, or any Indiana county or city in between, or ANYWHERE in Tennessee, Mississippi, or Kentucky.

We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families, FROM INDIANA AND ALL OVER THE COUNTRY (married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and are happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.

You can call, text, and or email us anytime —call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: [email protected], or Facebook message: https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.